damage assessment* — This pertains to the process of forgiving someone after being wronged. Talking through the specific ways that someone has been hurt or offended by someone’s action. It is an important step to prepare one’s self to forgive.
defensive maneuver — When one person brings up a complaint or issue for discussion and the other person deflects the concern by using the topic as a springboard for something different, knowing that it will evoke a response. A common defensive maneuver in response to a complaint is the “You also…” maneuver of arguing that the person bringing the complaint is guilty of the same thing.
defensiveness — An emotional stance within a conversation that is unreceptive to change, criticism, suggestions. In stronger forms, it is an attitude of refusing to accept responsibility for any aspect of a problem.
depression anger — Clinical depression reduces a person’s stress-tolerance so that everyday irritations can create rage and anger for a person who would otherwise not think of a small irritation as a big problem. If the anger is truly depression anger, then it subsides when a person is treated for depression.
depression in men — Clinical depression involves changes to the brain, regardless of how it was caused. Although there are numerous exceptions, men often display more anger than sadness when they are suffering from the brain lock of clinical depression.
descriptive language vs accusation — This is a positive communication technique that involves describing how something is a problem, being careful to avoid use of language of blame or accusation. For example,”When the TV is loud I find that I can’t sleep…” vs. You are so thoughtless when you watch TV late at night. You don’t care if anyone is sleeping…”
detoured anger — Anger felt toward one individual which is discharged at someone else. For example, a boy may be angry at his father, but take out his anger on his sibling because it seems safer.
diffusing anger — An ancient Hebrew proverb says, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” Diffusing anger involves responding to an angry comment by speaking slowly, softly and without harshness. Often, but no always, this can change the angry tenor of the conversation to one that is more calm.
disproportionate anger —
dissociative anger —
domestic violence —
don’t take the bait* — This is a self-talk mantra to be repeated in one’s mind to resist the impulse to respond in anger to someone’s attempts to elicit an angry response.